Wild Doxies

This is an “email fwd” that i’m sure many of you have seen - but I found it amusing so posted it. 

A list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dachshund.

1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. I will not munch on “leftovers” in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’. Neither are Mom and Dad’s laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying “hello”.
11. I will not throw up in the car.
12. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
13. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
14. The cat is not a ’squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.