Wild Doxies

This is an “email fwd” that i’m sure many of you have seen - but I found it amusing so posted it. 
A list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dachshund.

I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
I will not roll [...]

TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOXIE
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, [...]